ridiculousness

I really want to say "piss off!" to This Week. I want to tell it to just shove-off!! Right to its face!!! And then turn my back on it and talk to someone else more important!! And buy myself a cocktail without offering it one too!!

Ok, it sucks when you wish for Friday when it's only Wednesday.

I haven't much else to write except that I may have inadvertently started fantasizing about a guy that sits by me at work. I wouldn't necessarily find him attractive if I was single; however, he has dark hair & sideburns and is a really Nice Guy, and we do exchange witty IMs all day long.

I probably only do it because/when I get bored... And he pays attention to me?... What the f&*#. I guess I have done this before too, just if I am bored and someone is nice to me... But I start walking around in this sensual-daze or something for days... just need to let it run its course, I guess...

I think I would absolutely DIE if Tom ever said such a thing to me, if he ever confessed to something like that...

And, I hate that I am doing it because it the daydreams keep going on and on and morphing into the most ridiculous, ornate situations...

Ridiculous!! Like me being available and him pining for me for ages, sitting so close! Pining and gazing upon my beauty, listening to me talk to various beaus on the phone, desperate to get me alone yet I am untouchable being a co-worker and all.... Or me going into the handicap bathroom (it has a door/room all its own) and him, desperate, following me in there, not saying a word yet locking the door and drilling holes into me with his eyes and hands... Me crying in the hallway at some tragedy and him hugging me, but oh he cannot stop! He must put his hands all over me & rip off my clothes & we make rough love against the wall!!... Or we walk up naked in bed together, and we do it again because we can't remember the night before!!... Or me, dancing in a club, suddenly locking eyes as he cannot stop himself, being drawn to me, while I am wearing something fabulously sexy and I look like N1cole K1dman or someone gorgeous, finally approaching me with hot-breath on my neck, kissing me while whispering "I really mean it"... or some such ridiculousness...

Help.