awkwardness

Well yesterday could not have sucked more. Last night was a nightmare. I cried so much at our meeting my face swelled and blotched. I know they were worried, but it went well and I think it made Tom feel a bit better. But he is not done with me. I still have to go to my psychiatrist tomorrow morning before work; I know this other lady is going to call her today first too. I supposed she'll pump more meds into me and they might even make me see someone else, I don't know.

Things are better than Monday that is for sure; however, I still feel awkward at depressed and just on the verge of tears at every moment. Tom wants to take me to dinner tonight so that is a good sign, but I still feel awkward and things are a bit painful. He also says we should take a day-trip up the coast this Saturday. Maybe by then I will feel better; I just want to breathe and smile again.

The other painful thing to await is the phone call from my parents, who said they want to call near week-end to see what is going on -- that I am dreading. Horrific.

Well, I am dreading every day, every moment I am still sitting here, wishing upon empty air that things were back to normal or that I was not here at all. It is unbearable.

Work is busy as hell, which is really good at the moment. Our meeting was really lame last week; they'd built it up and it wasn't even directed at us!! Mgmt. is still trying to appease the newsroom and ignoring us... Even though they are starting to link to stories not from our paper and fill it up with AP stuff. Guess that is a good sign though.