another 'overheard'

Company-wide email today:

PROBLEM: Enormous pool of coffee underneath the coffee pot, occasionally dripping down wall or onto floor.
SOLUTION: Empty the coffee pot prior to making a new pot.
1) UNSCREW the TOP, and pour old coffee down the sink.
2) RINSE the coffee pot with scalding hot water, and POUR the water down the sink.
3) QA. Examine EMPTY pot. Is the pot EMPTY? If so, proceed to making new coffee.
4) POUR new coffee directly into center of filter. Allow gravity and the laws newtonian physics to create a little mountain.
4b) (Advanced). SHAKE coffee filter, to allow coffee to settle into a trapezoidal cylinder.

Ok! So you can see that HQ is focusing on the most important things here at the office.
___________
Also: Another "overheard" from the kitchen this morning:

"I have to wear a skirt every day because my legs go up to here. They are just so long so I can't wear pants, I look too leggy."

(I then shouted "Cry me a river, bitch!" and slammed my head onto my desk.)