sadness! help
Why, when Tom is not talking to me because he's in a mood, or because we've had an argument, does it seem to me like my world is ending? Why does it feel like I am going to die of sadness, like I cannot breathe?
We only had a little argument last night; backstory: We walk Guapo the last time every night at 8, and we take turns. Usually I do it because I usually take him to the park, or Tom is working late so I do it as a favor. I don't mind it because I love Guapo, but there are rare times that I am having a bad day and I would love for Tom to do it -- JUST LIKE I do it for him, when he is not feeling well, or when he has to go to work early, or he is having a bad day, I do it because I love him and I want to do something nice for him. (Also I always take Guapo out in the morning when I get back from my run, and I take him to the park and do stuff with him all day before Tom gets home from work, I do NOT complain as I love both of them obviously.)
But Saturday night, I was tired, I had already taken Guapo out three times that day, out for an hour to the park, and I was tired, and I had done it for Tom all week long because Tom had to work late all week long, so I thought, one night, just ONE night Tom could go "out of his turn" and do the same favor to me. But he did not.
I admit I got irritated and stormed about at the 8:00-mark and said "well I'll take him out" and Tom said "ok I'll take him out if you want" while laying back on the couch. And it pissed me off. He always does that, he said "If you want" or "I'll do it I guess" and it is so maddening, like he is putting the responsibility on me for asking him to do me a favor. I never do that to him.
So now we are in a fight because I tried to talk to him about it but I cannot talk to him about ANYthing because he just gets so mad and defensive he doesn't let me finish my sentences and makes me feel so stupid; he raises his voice and starts telling me I'm getting upset, and that I am the crazy one, and I try to tell him HE is the one raising his voice and getting mad, I try to say "I cannot tell you anything that bothers me ever because you always end up yelling at me" and then he tells me, in a low voice that is NOT yelling, "you are imagining that and you are acting crazy" and makes me look like the idiot one.
I am tired of feeling like the idiot. I am tired of feeling today like we are in a fight, I am sad and depressed and I cannot stop crying.
3 comments:
Oh honey I'm so sorry that you are feeling so bad! I know how you feel though! I think that acting like that is "a guy thing" because my BF is sort of like that. I've tried very hard to just say the things I need to say instead of "being a girl" about it. I'm sorry that I can't really be any help about it. You are NOT in any way shape or form an idiot and you did nothing wrong. Maybe you can try talking to him about when you are both in better spirits because obviously you both had hard weeks. <>
people are such turds sometimes. that's super unfair of him to do to you and there's no reason for it.
hope it passes quickly.
love ya!!
HUBS and I had a similar incident last night, although there was no yelling or crying.
We had some paperwork to fill out for financial things that required a bit of thinking, planning, writing and, yes, some math. I did all of it during the day and then reminded him that he needed to sign some stuff to make it complete.
Granted, he'd worked from 9:30 am until 8:30 pm, but when I reminded him he got all huffy, saying, "Well, I hope at this point I just have to sign it."
Yes, you ass. All you have to do is sign your name a few times, because I did all the maddening work earlier and I told you that hours ago.
I was so irritated that it ruined my whole night and I went to bed early, leaving HUBS up alone.
Why do men insist on pretending that it's impossible to work a long day and get anything else done? Women do it all the time!
I get it Sugar. I. Get. It. And lots of other women do, too.
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